Nicomachean Ethics – Aristotle (Friendship)

January 7, 2013

Devon Sampson Human Psychology, Philosophy, Social Dynamics , , , , , , , Leave a comment

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“In poverty as well as in other misfortunes, people suppose that friends are their only refuge.” (1155a11)

“When people are friends, they have no need of justice, but when they are just, they do need friendship in addition” (1155a26)

“Friendship is not only necessary but also noble, for we praise those who love their friends, and an abundance of friends is held to be a noble thing. Further, people suppose good men and their friends to be one and the same.” (1155a29)

“Those who swiftly make proofs of friendship to each other wish to be friends but are not such unless they are also lovable and know this about each other. For a wish for friendship arises swiftly, but friendship itself does not.” (1156b30)
 

Friendship based on utility belongs to those who frequent the marketplace. And although the blessed have no need of useful people, they do of pleasant ones (1158a22)

 
“He who would accuse the other of not pleasing him would appear laughable, since it is possible for him not to spend his days together with him. But friendship based on utility is prone to accusations.” (1162b17)

“Goodwill seems, therefore, to be the beginning of friendship, just as the pleasure stemming from sight is the beginning of erotic love.” (1167a3)

“To be like-minded is not for each to have the same thing in mind, whatever it may be, but to have it in mind in the same way” (1167a34)

“For him who has produced it [a benefaction], then, the work endures (for what is noble is long-lasting), whereas for the recipient, its usefulness passes away.” (1168a16)
 

The serious person, insofar as he is serious, delights in actions that accord with virtue and is disgusted by those that stem from vice, just as the musical person is pleased by beautiful melodies and pained by bad ones. And a certain training in virtue would arise from living with those who are good (1170a9)

 
“Having more friends than is sufficient for one’s own life…is superfluous and an impediment to living nobly.” (1170b26)

“And with a view to pleasure too, a few friends are enough, just as with seasoning in food.” (1170b28)

“One’s friends ought to be friends with one another, if all are going to spend their days with one another, but it is a task for this to happen among numerous people. It is also difficult for many to share intimately in both joys and sufferings, for it is likely to happen that one shares simultaneously the pleasure of one person and the grief of another.” (1171a7)

“It is not possible to be a friend to many if the friendship is based on virtue and on what the people involved are in themselves, and it is desirable enough to find even a few people of this sort.” (1171a19)

“Seeing friends is itself pleasant, especially for someone suffering misfortune, and is some aid in not feeling pain: both the sight of a friend and his speech are apt to console one, if he is tactful, since he knows his friend’s character and in what ways he is pleased and pained.” (1171b3)

The Art of Seduction – Robert Greene (The Coquette)

November 24, 2012

Devon Sampson Human Psychology, Social Dynamics , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

 

An absence, the declining of an invitation to dinner, an unintentional, unconscious harshness are of more service than all the cosmetics and fine clothes in the world.

-Marcel Proust

 
“Once you satisfy someone, you no longer have the initiative, and you open yourself to the possibility that he or she will lose interest at the slightest whim.” (71)

“Hot and cold, hot and cold—such coquetry is perversely pleasurable, heightening interest and keeping the initiative on your side.”

“The critics were both baffled and intrigued by the coldness of Warhol’s work; they could not figure out how the artist felt about his subjects. What was his position? What was he trying to say? When they asked, he would simply reply, ‘I just do it because I like it,’ or, ‘I love soup.’ The critics went wild with their interpretations…”
 

There is a way to represent one’s cause and in doing so to treat the audience in such a cool and condescending manner that they are bound to notice one is not doing it to please them. The principle should always be not to make concessions to those who don’t have anything to give but who have everything to gain from us. We can wait until they are begging on their knees even if it takes a very long time.

-Sigmund Freud, in a letter to a pupil

 
Cold Coquettes create space by remaining elusive and making others pursue them. Their coolness suggests a comfortable confidence that is exciting to be around, even though it may not actually exist; their silence makes you want to talk. Their self-containment, their appearance of having no need for other people, only makes us want to do things for them, hungry for the slightest sign of recognition and favor.” (73)

“A bout of distance engages the emotions further; instead of making us angry, it makes us insecure. Perhaps they don’t really like us, perhaps we have lost their interest. Once our vanity is at stake, we succumb to the Coquette just to prove we are still desirable.” (74)
 

A man is also challenged by the female Coquette’s independence – he wants to be the one to make her dependent, to burst her bubble. It is far more likely, though, that he will end up becoming her slave, giving her incessant attention to gain her love, and failing. For the narcissistic woman is not emotionally needy; she is self-sufficient. (74-75)

 
“Do not confuse self-absorption with seductive narcissism. Talking endlessly about yourself is eminently anti-seductive, revealing not self-sufficiency but insecurity.” (75)

“The Coquette must first and foremost be able to excite the target of his or her attention. The attraction can be sexual, the lure of celebrity, whatever it takes. At the same time, the Coquette sends contrary signals that stimulate contrary responses, plunging the victim into confusion.”

“Remember: obvious flirting will reveal your intentions too clearly. Better to be ambiguous and even contradictory, frustrating at the same time that you stimulate.”

“Coquettes are never jealous — that would undermine their image of fundamental self-sufficiency. But they are masters at inciting jealousy: by paying attention to a third party, creating a triangle of desire, they signal to their victims that they may not be that interested. This triangulation is extremely seductive, in social contexts as well as erotic ones.” (76)

“Coquettes face an obvious danger: they play with volatile emotions. Every time the pendulum swings, love shifts to hate. So they must orchestrate everything carefully.” (78)

Game-Based Marketing – Gabe Zichermann & Joselin Linder

October 22, 2012

Devon Sampson Business, Motivational Psychology , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

“Funware is a design philosophy that helps us mesh games with marketing.” (29)

“Everything can be made more fun.”

“Game mechanics are levers used to drive user behavior.”

“Passive games are different from active games in that most players don’t even realize a game is being played.” (43)

“Points provide the basic underpinning of scorekeeping, and social networking sites provide a unique opportunity to drive scoring behavior.”

“Rules, whether obvious or not, are essential both for maintaining order and for effective Funware design.”
 

Success is much less interesting if it’s not social and others don’t see you win.

 
“Social networks provide an unparalleled opportunity to market using game mechanics.” (62)

“Leaderboards are often the best initial Funware mechanics to use as they are cost-effective and easy for users to understand.”

“Even simple leaderboards like the ‘friend count’ on Facebook can have a profound effect on user behavior.”

“Point systems let you incentivize many behaviors and fine-tune the value of actions and cost of rewards at will.” (89)
 

Badges and their conspicuous display are an essential mechanism for conveying and reinforcing user success.

 
“Levels and status are powerful tools for creating loyalty and driving user behavior.”

“Although prizes generate a lot of PR buzz, they don’t deliver lasting loyalty in and of themselves.” (110)

“Frequent flyer ‘games’ are among the most successful and popular loyalty programs.” (139)

“Points in [frequent flyer programs] are often used to encourage incremental elevations in expenditure.”

“The virtual goods market is growing rapidly from a $5.5 billion level in 2009.”
 

Even noncompetitive people will compete in competitive situations. (159)

 
A major consideration in game design is the type of player the game is supposed to attract. In the context of Funware, there are five main player types:

  • Achievers

    • Driven by a desire to meet goals and gain status and points. They prefer a game that is winnable, although playing well may be more important than finally winning. Perhaps most importantly, they desire praise and recognition, and so do not like games that only attract other achievers.

  • Socializers

    • Want to meet and interact with other people in their game. They prefer cooperative to competitive play, and generally have long lists of friends and contacts.

  • Explorers

    • Like nothing better than digging through a complex environment and uncovering new challenges and tasks. They are most likely to set their own goals, and so do not need a game with extensive leveling systems or objectives.

  • Killers

    • Are competitive and love beating other players or showing off their power. Games must be winnable to attract killers, and they prefer it if the odds are stacked in their favor.
     
     

    Brands that implement games early will be at a distinct advantage over latecomers.

     

    Generation G is the most technologically savvy, competitive, and socially networked. (180)

     

    Kids who grow up on games are going to expect gamelike experiences in all aspects of their lives.

    TIL

    October 15, 2012

    Devon Sampson The Bank of Notes News , , , , , Leave a comment

     

    “So what did you learn about today?”

     
    Undoubtedly, you’ve been asked this before: it’s the classic dinner-table question after a long day of school. Just because it has become a cliche, however, does not mean that it isn’t an insightful and important question to ask.

    I brought this up because it just occurred to me that the question “What did you learn today?” is rarely reciprocated to the adult that asked it in the first place. Once you grow up and leave school, you’re considered to be a static, finished product. Like a chair. Or some kind of Ken doll.

    I think that’s a big mistake.

    Imagine a highly-talented programmer spending decades designing a new iPhone app, finally launching it, but then never releasing an update for it! The app might even be very good, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s accumulated years worth of valuable customer feedback since the launch. His audience, and his world, are now calling for a different type of gift from him – and he has no excuse not to give it.

    The lifelong learner builds a deeper and more stable relationship with his environment; the adult who can’t be bothered has no choice but to cling desperately to the familiar, watching helplessly as his small corner of the world withers away.

    To paraphrase Michael Ellsberg in The Education of Millionaires: “Just because you’ve left school doesn’t mean you should leave learning.”

    This has been my guiding principle for more than a year – and to make sure I continue, I’ve decided to share the most profound idea, tip, or lesson that I learn, each day, in a new series called Today I Learned (TIL for short). You can find it on my personal blog.

    Each TIL blog post will be very brief, even briefer than the average Seth’s Blog.
     
     

     
    Speaking of Seth Godin, he’s the one who inspired me to do this.

    The reason I’ve decided to make this kind of content is because today I learned “The real power of blogs comes from the fact that they can be as specific as you’d like.” (Seth Godin, Flipping The Funnel)

    The Personal MBA – Josh Kaufman (Working With Others)

    October 12, 2012

    Devon Sampson Business, Human Psychology, Motivational Psychology, Social Dynamics , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment


    Force is all-conquering, but its victories are short-lived…Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.

    -Abraham Lincoln

     
    “The major benefit of self-education when working with others is knowing what skill looks like.” (276)

    Avoid bloated committees – keep your teams “elite and surgical.”

    “Effective communication can only occur when both parties feel safe. As soon as people start to feel unimportant or threatened in a conversation, they start ‘stonewalling,’ shutting down communication. The threatened party may continue to interact, but mentally and emotionally, they’ve withdrawn from the conversation.” (280)
     

    Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do, and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.

    -General George S. Patton

     
    “Micromanaging isn’t simply annoying – it’s extremely inefficient. Not only does spelling out every single detail make people feel less important, it actually impairs their effectiveness. No set of instructions, no matter how detailed, is capable of covering every contingency. When something inevitably changes, micromanagement fails.” (284)

    “Commander’s intent is a much better method of delegating tasks: whenever you assign a task to someone, tell them why it must be done. The more your agent understands the purpose behind your actions, the better they’ll be able to respond appropriately when the situation changes.”

    “When you communicate the intent behind your plans, you allow the people you work with to intelligently respond to changes as they happen.

    “The best way to eliminate Bystander Apathy in project management is to ensure that all tasks have single, clear owners and deadlines.” (286)
     

    The way to get on in the world is to make people believe it’s to their advantage to help you.

    -Jean de la Bruyere, seventeenth-century essayist

     
    “Convergence is the tendency of group members to become more alike over time…Convergence also means that groups have a tendency to police themselves. The norms of a group work like gravity – if they are violated, others will exert an influence on the rebel to bring them back in line.” (291)

    “The best testimonials don’t necessarily contain superlatives: amazing, best, life-changing, and revolutionary have been so overused that people expect them and discount their expectations accordingly. The most effective testimonials tend to follow this format: ‘I was interested in this offer, but skeptical. I decided to purchase anyway, and I’m very pleased with the end result.’

    “The reason this format is more effective than a litany of people gushing about your offer is that it more closely matches how your prospects are feeling: interested but uncertain.” (294-5)

    “People have an inherent tendency to comply with Authority figures. This tendency begins in childhood – we wouldn’t survive for very long if we didn’t obey our parents most of the time. As we grow up, we’re socialized to respect and obey other Authority figures: teachers, police officers, government officials, and clergy. As a result, when an Authority figure asks us to do something, we’re very likely to comply – even if the request isn’t appropriate or doesn’t make sense.” (295)

    “Developing a strong reputation in a certain area confers the benefits of Authority.” (296)

    “Obtaining small commitments makes it more likely people will choose to act consistently with them later.” (298)

    “By compensating their salespeople on a salary basis and giving generous bonuses based on long-term performance, (Norm) Brodsky and (Bo) Burlingham encouraged (their salespeople) to focus on making profitable sales versus sales at any cost.” (299)

    “In the case of conflict, Perceptual Controls win over incentives every time.” (300)

    “The best way to avoid Modal Bias [the assumption that our idea or approach is best] is to use inhibition to temporarily suspend judgment. Part of the value of understanding cognitive biases is the knowledge that you’re not immune to them, and simply knowing they exist doesn’t make them any less influential. Modal Bias is automatic – we have to use willpower to overcome it.” (301)
     

    High achievement always takes place in the framework of high expectation.

    -Charles Kettering

     
    “In How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie recommends ‘Giving others a great reputation to live up to.’ ” (302)

    “The Pygmalion Effect [the tendency of our expectations of others to become self-fulfilling prophecies] also features a paradox: having high expectations of people will produce better results, but it also increases the probability that you’ll be disappointed. The Expectation Effect means that our perception of the quality of someone’s work is a function of our original expectations.” (302)

    “If you’re doing a formal assessment of someone’s performance, remember to judge performance objectively and quantitatively as much as possible.”

    Josh Kaufman’s summary of management

    Motivational Quotes from Robert Greene’s “The 33 Strategies of War”

    September 30, 2012

    Devon Sampson Motivational Psychology , , , , , Leave a comment

    Here’s a few of my favorite quotes from “The 33 Strategies of War”. I may do a full summary in addition to this if and when I ever finish the entire book, and not just the few chapters I thought (correctly) would be motivational.
     

    A sense of urgency comes from a powerful connection to the present.

     

    Leaving the past for unknown terrain is like death, and feeling this finality will snap you back to life.

     

    Life has more meaning in the face of death. The risks you keep taking, the challenges you keep overcoming, are like symbolic deaths that sharpen your appreciation of life.

     

    The more you want the prize, the more you must compensate by examining what it will take.

     

    In order to avoid wasted effort and failed battles, start every mission by examining your real means rather than simply your desired ends.

     

    If your opponents are never sure what messing with you will cost, they will not want to find out.

     

    Instead of trying to dominate the other side’s every move, work to define the nature of the relationship itself.

    The Personal MBA – Josh Kaufman (Working With Yourself)

    September 4, 2012

    Devon Sampson Business, Human Psychology , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments


     

    To think is easy. To act is difficult. To act as one thinks is the most difficult.

    -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

     
    “Monoidealism is the state of focusing your energy and attention on only one thing, without conflicts. [Also known as a 'flow' state] (229)

    The first key to achieving a monoideal state is to eliminate distractions; Kaufman claims that it takes roughly 10-30 minutes of uninterrupted time for your mind to become fully absorbed in the task.

    If you feel an inner conflict about doing your work, explore it rather than repress it – your mind is often trying to tell you something important.

    When you’re really feeling resistance, try the Pomodoro Technique: set a timer for 25 minutes and focus on a single task for the entire duration of the time, then take a 5 minute break when it’s done.

    “If you eliminate distractions and Conflicts before you start your dash, you’ll naturally transition into a Monoideal state a few minutes into the work period.” (231)

    Kaufman also recommends meditation as a way to become resistant to distractions.

    “While many people assume [multitasking] makes them more efficient, Monoidealism and multitasking are complete opposites. Neurologically, it’s impossible for your brain to multitask. When you’re trying to do more than one thing at a time, you’re not really parallel processing – you’re rapidly switching your Attention from one thing to another.”

    “Every time you switch the focus of your Attention from one subject to another, you incur the Cognitive Switching Penalty. In order to take action, your brain has to ‘load’ the context of what you’re doing into working memory. If you constantly switch the focus of your Attention, you’re forcing your brain to spend time and effort thrashing, loading and reloading contexts over and over again.” (232)

    In order to avoid mentally demanding context-switching, batch similar tasks together, i.e., have a block of time where you do all of your creative tasks.
     

    The Four Methods of Completion

    1.) Completion – doing the task completely; this is the option most people think about, but it should only be used for important things that you can do particularly well.

    2.) Deletion – eliminating the task; use this for tasks that are unimportant or unnecessary. “If it’s not worth doing, it’s not worth doing well or quickly” (233)

    3.) Delegation – assigning the task to someone else; used for important tasks that someone else can complete almost as well as you can (or even better).

    4.) Deferment – putting the task off until later; effective for tasks that are somewhat important, but that certainly aren’t critical.
     

    “Saving noncritical tasks for later is a good way to keep your attention and energy focused on what’s most important…Periodically reviewing this list when you’re looking for something new or exciting to do is quite useful.” (234)

    “A Most Important Task (MIT) is a critical task that will create the most important results you’re looking to achieve. Everything on your plate is not critically important, so don’t treat everything on your task list equally…At the beginning of every day, create a list of two or three MITs, then focus on getting them done as quickly as possible.” (235)

    Some other points about MITs:

  • keep your MIT list separate from your other to-do list
  • use self-elicitation questions such as “What are the two or three most important things that I need to do today?” to help you generate the list of MITs
  • combining the MIT technique with Parkinson’s Law by setting an arbitrary deadline for your MITs, such as 10:00am, is extremely effective
  • all of this will help you maintain a monoideal state

    •  
    “For best effect, your Goals should be under your control. Goals like ‘losing twenty pounds’ are soul crushing because they’re not directly under your control – losing weight is a result, not an effort.” (237)

    Kaufman distinguishes between States of Being (such as happiness) and goals: the former shouldn’t be seen as a fixed achievement, but rather, a measure of the quality of your present experience. States of Being make for great decision criteria, but they lead to frustration if seen as a fixed goal to be achieved in the future.

    “For best results [in behavior change], focus on installing one habit at a time. Remember, you only have so much Willpower to use each day, and overriding your default mode of action depletes it quickly…Focus on installing one habit until taking action feels automatic, then move on to the next.” (240)
     

    Out of the available options, which experience do I want to have?

    -Steve Pavlina’s “tiebreaker” question when making a difficult decision

     
    “The Next Action is the next specific, concrete thing you can do right away to move a project forward. You don’t have to know everything that must be done to make progress on a project – all you need to know is the very next thing you can do to move the project forward.” (246)

    “One of the quirks about how your mind works is that it handles information from outside your head better than the thoughts that are rattling around inside your head.” (248)

    “There are two primary ways to Externalize your thoughts: writing and speaking. Writing (or drawing, if you prefer) is the best way to capture ideas, plans, and tasks. Not only does writing give you the ability to store information in a form you can reference later, it gives your mind the opportunity to examine what you know from a different angle. Challenges and issues that seem insurmountable while they’re bouncing around in your frontal lobe can often be solved surprisingly quickly after they’re put on paper.”

    “If you want to be productive, you must set limits. Juggling hundreds of active tasks across scores of projects is not sustainable: you’re risking failure, subpar work, and burnout.” (260)

    “Limits always have consequences – if you’re not prepared to handle the consequences, it’s not really a limit.”

    “Like all biological organisms, humans need to rest and recover for peak performance. Taking a break isn’t a sign of laziness or weakness – it’s a recognition of a fundamental human need…Sleep deprivation results in a prolonged down cycle, which gets in the way of getting things done.” (262-3)

    “The more Attached you are to a particular idea or plan, the more you limit your flexibility and reduce your chances of finding a better solution…If you become too Attached to the visions you have in your head, you’ll have a hard time adjusting to the inevitable twists and turns of life.” (270)

    Kaufman recommends putting a small percentage of your monthly income into a “Personal Research and Development (R&D) Budget”, money you can use (guilt-free) to purchase books, courses, conferences: anything that will help you improve your skills and capabilities.

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