A Trusted Advisor places a higher value on maintaining and preserving the long-term relationship than on the outcome of any individual transaction.
David Falk, the agent of Michael Jordan, reduced the size of his commission without even being asked because he sensed that it was bothering him.
The client’s specific context and emotions should affect the advice you give; great advice is never one-size-fits-all.
Go first: visibly demonstrate your willingness to invest in the relationship to gain the client’s trust.
Listening is essential in order to earn the right to comment on – and be involved with – the client’s issues.
Trust is both rational and emotional.
Trust is a two-way road – you cannot build a trusted advisor relationship solely through your own effort, you need the client to participate and reciprocate by their own will.
Big mistakes many advisors make when listening:
1. Overly rational listening – listening is both rational and emotional; take the time to “absorb what you hear” and use it to build the relationship – this demonstrates a high level of caring that is essential to becoming a trusted advisor.
2. Overly passive listening – good listening is a back-and-forth process that makes both people feel heard and understood
The step that comes after uncovering a problem is NOT solving it – it’s envisioning a future without the problem (basically Need-Payoff Questions, see: SPIN Selling by Neil Rackham).
Build a shared agenda – show that you have a “we”, not a “me” agenda.
