Social Dynamics | The Bank of Notes

Nicomachean Ethics – Aristotle (Friendship)

January 7, 2013

Devon Sampson Human Psychology, Philosophy, Social Dynamics aristotle, ethics, friendship, goodwill, happiness, philosophy, pleasure, virtue Leave a comment

“In poverty as well as in other misfortunes, people suppose that friends are their only refuge.” (1155a11)

“When people are friends, they have no need of justice, but when they are just, they do need friendship in addition” (1155a26)

“Friendship is not only necessary but also noble, for we praise those who love their friends, and an abundance of friends is held to be a noble thing. Further, people suppose good men and their friends to be one and the same.” (1155a29)

“Those who swiftly make proofs of friendship to each other wish to be friends but are not such unless they are also lovable and know this about each other. For a wish for friendship arises swiftly, but friendship itself does not.” (1156b30)

Friendship based on utility belongs to those who frequent the marketplace. And although the blessed have no need of useful people, they do of pleasant ones (1158a22)

“He who would accuse the other of not pleasing him would appear laughable, since it is possible for him not to spend his days together with him. But friendship based on utility is prone to accusations.” (1162b17)

“Goodwill seems, therefore, to be the beginning of friendship, just as the pleasure stemming from sight is the beginning of erotic love.” (1167a3)

“To be like-minded is not for each to have the same thing in mind, whatever it may be, but to have it in mind in the same way” (1167a34)

“For him who has produced it [a benefaction], then, the work endures (for what is noble is long-lasting), whereas for the recipient, its usefulness passes away.” (1168a16)

The serious person, insofar as he is serious, delights in actions that accord with virtue and is disgusted by those that stem from vice, just as the musical person is pleased by beautiful melodies and pained by bad ones. And a certain training in virtue would arise from living with those who are good (1170a9)

“Having more friends than is sufficient for one’s own life…is superfluous and an impediment to living nobly.” (1170b26)

“And with a view to pleasure too, a few friends are enough, just as with seasoning in food.” (1170b28)

“One’s friends ought to be friends with one another, if all are going to spend their days with one another, but it is a task for this to happen among numerous people. It is also difficult for many to share intimately in both joys and sufferings, for it is likely to happen that one shares simultaneously the pleasure of one person and the grief of another.” (1171a7)

“It is not possible to be a friend to many if the friendship is based on virtue and on what the people involved are in themselves, and it is desirable enough to find even a few people of this sort.” (1171a19)

“Seeing friends is itself pleasant, especially for someone suffering misfortune, and is some aid in not feeling pain: both the sight of a friend and his speech are apt to console one, if he is tactful, since he knows his friend’s character and in what ways he is pleased and pained.” (1171b3)

The Art of Seduction – Robert Greene (The Coquette)

November 24, 2012

Devon Sampson Human Psychology, Social Dynamics andy warhol, confidence, coquette, flirting, independence, interpretation, jealousy, narcissism, self-containment, sigmund freud Leave a comment

An absence, the declining of an invitation to dinner, an unintentional, unconscious harshness are of more service than all the cosmetics and fine clothes in the world.

-Marcel Proust

“Once you satisfy someone, you no longer have the initiative, and you open yourself to the possibility that he or she will lose interest at the slightest whim.” (71)

“Hot and cold, hot and cold—such coquetry is perversely pleasurable, heightening interest and keeping the initiative on your side.”

“The critics were both baffled and intrigued by the coldness of Warhol’s work; they could not figure out how the artist felt about his subjects. What was his position? What was he trying to say? When they asked, he would simply reply, ‘I just do it because I like it,’ or, ‘I love soup.’ The critics went wild with their interpretations…”

There is a way to represent one’s cause and in doing so to treat the audience in such a cool and condescending manner that they are bound to notice one is not doing it to please them. The principle should always be not to make concessions to those who don’t have anything to give but who have everything to gain from us. We can wait until they are begging on their knees even if it takes a very long time.

-Sigmund Freud, in a letter to a pupil

Cold Coquettes create space by remaining elusive and making others pursue them. Their coolness suggests a comfortable confidence that is exciting to be around, even though it may not actually exist; their silence makes you want to talk. Their self-containment, their appearance of having no need for other people, only makes us want to do things for them, hungry for the slightest sign of recognition and favor.” (73)

“A bout of distance engages the emotions further; instead of making us angry, it makes us insecure. Perhaps they don’t really like us, perhaps we have lost their interest. Once our vanity is at stake, we succumb to the Coquette just to prove we are still desirable.” (74)

A man is also challenged by the female Coquette’s independence – he wants to be the one to make her dependent, to burst her bubble. It is far more likely, though, that he will end up becoming her slave, giving her incessant attention to gain her love, and failing. For the narcissistic woman is not emotionally needy; she is self-sufficient. (74-75)

“Do not confuse self-absorption with seductive narcissism. Talking endlessly about yourself is eminently anti-seductive, revealing not self-sufficiency but insecurity.” (75)

“The Coquette must first and foremost be able to excite the target of his or her attention. The attraction can be sexual, the lure of celebrity, whatever it takes. At the same time, the Coquette sends contrary signals that stimulate contrary responses, plunging the victim into confusion.”

“Remember: obvious flirting will reveal your intentions too clearly. Better to be ambiguous and even contradictory, frustrating at the same time that you stimulate.”

“Coquettes are never jealous — that would undermine their image of fundamental self-sufficiency. But they are masters at inciting jealousy: by paying attention to a third party, creating a triangle of desire, they signal to their victims that they may not be that interested. This triangulation is extremely seductive, in social contexts as well as erotic ones.” (76)

“Coquettes face an obvious danger: they play with volatile emotions. Every time the pendulum swings, love shifts to hate. So they must orchestrate everything carefully.” (78)

The Personal MBA – Josh Kaufman (Working With Others)

October 12, 2012

Devon Sampson Business, Human Psychology, Motivational Psychology, Social Dynamics authority, communication, cooperation, dale carnegie, expectations, influence, josh kaufman, management, micromanagement, personal mba, testimonials Leave a comment

Force is all-conquering, but its victories are short-lived…Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.

-Abraham Lincoln

“The major benefit of self-education when working with others is knowing what skill looks like.” (276)

Avoid bloated committees – keep your teams “elite and surgical.”

“Effective communication can only occur when both parties feel safe. As soon as people start to feel unimportant or threatened in a conversation, they start ‘stonewalling,’ shutting down communication. The threatened party may continue to interact, but mentally and emotionally, they’ve withdrawn from the conversation.” (280)

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do, and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.

-General George S. Patton

“Micromanaging isn’t simply annoying – it’s extremely inefficient. Not only does spelling out every single detail make people feel less important, it actually impairs their effectiveness. No set of instructions, no matter how detailed, is capable of covering every contingency. When something inevitably changes, micromanagement fails.” (284)

“Commander’s intent is a much better method of delegating tasks: whenever you assign a task to someone, tell them why it must be done. The more your agent understands the purpose behind your actions, the better they’ll be able to respond appropriately when the situation changes.”

“When you communicate the intent behind your plans, you allow the people you work with to intelligently respond to changes as they happen.

“The best way to eliminate Bystander Apathy in project management is to ensure that all tasks have single, clear owners and deadlines.” (286)

The way to get on in the world is to make people believe it’s to their advantage to help you.

-Jean de la Bruyere, seventeenth-century essayist

“Convergence is the tendency of group members to become more alike over time…Convergence also means that groups have a tendency to police themselves. The norms of a group work like gravity – if they are violated, others will exert an influence on the rebel to bring them back in line.” (291)

“The best testimonials don’t necessarily contain superlatives: amazing, best, life-changing, and revolutionary have been so overused that people expect them and discount their expectations accordingly. The most effective testimonials tend to follow this format: ‘I was interested in this offer, but skeptical. I decided to purchase anyway, and I’m very pleased with the end result.’

“The reason this format is more effective than a litany of people gushing about your offer is that it more closely matches how your prospects are feeling: interested but uncertain.” (294-5)

“People have an inherent tendency to comply with Authority figures. This tendency begins in childhood – we wouldn’t survive for very long if we didn’t obey our parents most of the time. As we grow up, we’re socialized to respect and obey other Authority figures: teachers, police officers, government officials, and clergy. As a result, when an Authority figure asks us to do something, we’re very likely to comply – even if the request isn’t appropriate or doesn’t make sense.” (295)

“Developing a strong reputation in a certain area confers the benefits of Authority.” (296)

“Obtaining small commitments makes it more likely people will choose to act consistently with them later.” (298)

“By compensating their salespeople on a salary basis and giving generous bonuses based on long-term performance, (Norm) Brodsky and (Bo) Burlingham encouraged (their salespeople) to focus on making profitable sales versus sales at any cost.” (299)

“In the case of conflict, Perceptual Controls win over incentives every time.” (300)

“The best way to avoid Modal Bias [the assumption that our idea or approach is best] is to use inhibition to temporarily suspend judgment. Part of the value of understanding cognitive biases is the knowledge that you’re not immune to them, and simply knowing they exist doesn’t make them any less influential. Modal Bias is automatic – we have to use willpower to overcome it.” (301)

High achievement always takes place in the framework of high expectation.

-Charles Kettering

“In How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie recommends ‘Giving others a great reputation to live up to.’ ” (302)

“The Pygmalion Effect [the tendency of our expectations of others to become self-fulfilling prophecies] also features a paradox: having high expectations of people will produce better results, but it also increases the probability that you’ll be disappointed. The Expectation Effect means that our perception of the quality of someone’s work is a function of our original expectations.” (302)

“If you’re doing a formal assessment of someone’s performance, remember to judge performance objectively and quantitatively as much as possible.”

Josh Kaufman’s summary of management

The 48 Laws of Power (Law #48 – Assume Formlessness)

July 3, 2012

Devon Sampson Social Dynamics 50 laws of power, adaptability, defensiveness, fashion, flexibility, formlessness, robert greene Leave a comment

When you want to fight us, we don’t let you and you can’t find us. But when we want to fight you, we make sure that you can’t get away and we hit you squarely…and wipe you out.

-Mao Tse-tung

“The human animal is distinguished by its constant creation of forms. Rarely expressing its emotions directly, it gives them form through language, or through socially acceptable rituals. We cannot communicate our emotions without a form.

“The forms we create, however, change constantly – in fashion, in style, in all those human phenomena representing the mood of the moment. We are constantly altering the forms we have inherited from previous generations, and these changes are signs of life and vitality. Indeed, the things that don’t change, the forms that rigidify, come to look to us like death, and we destroy them. The young show this the most clearly” (424-5)

People rise to power by using their creativity to create new forms – but then they tend to get attached to these forms, develop fixed identities, and lose their power as the public gets bored and demands newer forms.

“When locked in the past, the powerful look comical – they are overripe fruit, waiting to fall from the tree.” (425)

“To be formless is not to be amorphous; everything has a form – it is impossible to avoid…formlessness is in the eye of the enemy who cannot see what they are up to and so has nothing solid to attack. This is the premier pose of power: ungraspable”

“The first psychological requirement of formlessness is to train yourself to take nothing personally. Never show any defensiveness. When you act defensive, you should your emotions, revealing a clear form.” (426)

“When you find yourself in conflict with someone stronger and more rigid, allow them a momentary victory. Seem to bow to their superiority. Then, by being formless and adaptable, slowly insinuate yourself into their soul. This way you will catch them off guard, for rigid people are always ready to ward off direct blows but are helpless against the subtle and insinuating.” (427)

“In evolution, largeness is often the first step towards extinction. What is immense and bloated has no mobility, but must constantly feed itself. The unintelligent are often seduced into believing that size connotes power, the bigger the better.” (428)

“It is not a matter of mimicking the fashions of youth – that is equally worthy of laughter. Rather your mind must constantly adapt to each circumstance, even the inevitable change that the time has come to move over and let those of younger age prepare for their ascendancy.” (429)

“Never forget, though, that formlessness is a strategic pose. It gives you room to create tactical surprises; as your enemies struggle to guess your next move, they reveal their own strategy, putting them at a decided disadvantage. It keeps the initiative on your side, putting your enemies in the position of never acting, constantly reacting.”

“Rely too much on other people’s ideas and you end up taking a form not of your own making. Too much respect for other people’s wisdom will make you depreciate your own.”

Reversal: Formlessness will make your enemies scramble and scatter their forces (mental as well as physical) to find you. But once you do engage them, hit them with a powerful, concentrated blow.

The Speed of Trust – Stephen M.R. Covey

June 5, 2012

Devon Sampson Social Dynamics competence, integrity, intent, speed of trust, trust Leave a comment

Trust is based on character (integrity, motive, intent) and competence (capability, skills, track record).

Competence is situational, character is universal.

Still, it’s very common for competence to be undervalued in the trust equation.

1st wave – Self-trust (personal credibility)
2nd wave – Relationship trust (consistent behavior)
3rd wave – Organizational trust (professional relationships)
4th wave – Market trust (reputation)
5th wave – Societal trust (contribution)

Four Core Pillars of Credibility:

-Integrity
-Intent
-Capabilities
-Results

Integrity is about following rules that you are internally motivated to follow.

You need to declare your intent in order to actively influence the conclusions other people draw about your behavior, or they’ll come to their own conclusions.

Violating a character behavior is the quickest way to decrease trust, demonstrating a competence behavior is the quickest way to increase trust.

Behaviors that build relationship trust:

1. Straight talk (communicating so you can’t be misunderstood)
2. Show fundamental care and concern for people (has a disproportionate impact on building trust)
3. Create transparency
4. Admit wrongs (and then right them)
5. Show loyalty
6. Deliver results
7. Growing and improving (counterfeit: the eternal student – always learning but never producing)
8. Confronting reality
9. Clarify expectations (counterfeit: being vague)
10. Practice accountability (in yourself and others)
11. Listen (teaches you which behaviors will produce dividends)
12. Keep commitments (the quickest way to build trusting relationships)
13. Extend trust to others (counterfeit: unsolicited micro-managing)

Closed, low-trust communities pay many taxes. They relinquish the dividends of shared knowledge, technological advances, and economic partnerships.

Inspiring trust is the main difference between a manager and a leader.

Choose to prioritize the enormous long-term dividends of trust over the temporary satisfaction of breaking trust, justifying low-trust behavior, and holding grudges.

The 48 Laws of Power (Law #28: Enter Action with Boldness)

May 22, 2012

Devon Sampson Motivational Psychology, Social Dynamics 48 laws, audacity, boldness, fear, hesitation, robert greene, timidity Leave a comment

“If you are unsure of a course of action, do not attempt it. Your doubts and hesitations will infect your execution. Timidity is dangerous: Better to enter with boldness. Any mistakes you commit through audacity are easily corrected with more audacity. Everyone admires the bold; no one honors the timid.” (227, Judgment)

“In seduction, hesitation is fatal – it makes your victims conscious of your intentions. The bold move crowns seduction with triumph: It leaves no time for reflection.” (228)

“Although we may disguise our timidity as a concern for others, a desire not to hurt or offend them, in fact it is the opposite – we are really self-absorbed, worried about ourselves and how others will perceive us. Boldness, on the other hand, is outer-directed, and often makes people feel more at ease, since it is less self-conscious and less repressed.” (233)

“Boldness directs attention outward and keeps the illusion alive.”

“Audacity separates you from the herd. Boldness gives you presence and makes you seem larger than life. The timid fade into the wallpaper, the bold draw attention, and what draws attention draws power.” (228-229)

We cannot keep our eyes off the audacious – we cannot wait to see their next bold move.

“Understand: If boldness is not natural, neither is timidity. It is an acquired habit, picked up out of a desire to avoid conflict. If timidity has taken hold of you, then, root it out. Your fears of the consequences of a bold action are way out of proportion to reality, and in fact the consequences of timidity are worse. Your value is lowered and you create a self-fulfilling cycle of doubt and disaster. Remember: The problems created by an audacious move can be disguised, even remedied, by more and greater audacity.” (234)

“Boldness should never be the strategy behind all of your actions. It is a tactical instrument, to be used at the right moment. Plan and think ahead, and make the final element the bold move that will bring you success.” (235)

“Timidity has no place in the realm of power; you will often benefit, however, by being able to feign it. At that point, of course, it is no longer timidity but an offensive weapon: You are luring people in with your show of shyness, all the better to pounce on them boldly later.”

The Art of Seduction – Robert Greene (The Ideal Lover)

May 19, 2012

Devon Sampson Social Dynamics casanova, ideal lover, robert greene, seduction Leave a comment

The cultivation of the pleasures of the senses was ever my principal aim in life. Knowing that I was personally calculated to please the fair sex, I always strove to make myself more agreeable to it.
-Casanova

“(Casanova’s) method was simple: on meeting a woman, he would study her, go along with her moods, find out what was missing in her life, and provide it. He made himself the Ideal Lover.” (33)

“Most people believe themselves to be inwardly greater than they outwardly appear to the world. They are full of unrecognized ideals: they could be artists, thinkers, leaders, spiritual figures, but the world has crushed them, denied them the chance to let their abilities flourish. This is the key to their seduction – and to keeping them seduced over time.” (35)

“Appeal only to people’s physical side, as many amateur seducers do, and they will resent you for playing upon their basest instincts. But appeal to their better selves, to a higher standard of beauty, and they will hardly notice that they have been seduced. Make them feel elevated, lofty, spiritual, and your power over them will be limitless.”

You must be observant to discover their ideal, particularly to non-verbal cues. What are they secretly missing, what are they overcompensating for?

“Nothing is more seductive than patient attentiveness. It makes the affair seem lofty, aesthetic, not really about sex.”

A good lover will behave as elegantly at dawn as at any other time. He drags himself out of bed, with a look of dismay on his face. The lady urges him on: ‘Come, my friend, it’s getting light. You don’t want anyone to find you here.’ He gives a deep sigh, as if to say that the night has not been nearly long enough and that it is agony to leave. Once up, he does not instantly pull on his trousers. Instead he comes close to the lady and whispers whatever was left unsaid during the night. Even when he is dressed, he still lingers, vaguely pretending to be fastening his sash.

Presently he raises the lattice, and the two lovers stand together by the side door while he tells her how he dreads the coming day, which will keep them apart; then he slips away. The lady watches him go, and this moment of parting will remain among her most charming memories.

Indeed, one’s attachment to a man depends largely on the elegance of his leave-taking. When he jumps out of bed, scurries about the room, tightly fastens his trouser-sash, rolls up the sleeves of his Court cloak, over-robe or hunting costume, stuffs his belongings into the breast of his robe and then briskly secures the outer sash – one really begins to hate him.

~The Pillow Book of Sei Shonagon

Symbol: The Portrait Painter – “Under his eye, all of your physical imperfections disappear. He brings out noble qualities in you, frames you in a myth, makes you godlike, immortalizes you. For his ability to create such fantasies, he is rewarded with great power.” (39)

The Art of Seduction – Robert Greene (The Charismatic)

April 20, 2012

Devon Sampson Social Dynamics charisma, communication, confidence, influence, magnetism, robert greene, seduction, vulnerability Leave a comment

The word “charisma” was initially used to describe people that came across as having a direct communication with God, due to their energy and demeanor. It’s a Greek word that refers to prophets and to Christ himself.

“Create the charismatic illusion by radiating intensity while remaining detached.” (95)

“The face of a Charismatic is usually animated, full of energy, desire, alertness.” (97)

“When trying to concoct an effect of charisma, never forget the religious source of its power. You must radiate an inward quality that has a saintly or spiritual edge to it. Your eyes must glow with the fire of a prophet.” (98)

Qualities of Charismatics

Purpose

“Since most people hesitate before taking bold action…self-assurance will make you the focus of attention.” (eg: FDR during the Great Depression)

Mystery

Expressed by contradiction, or the hint of it.

Eloquence

“The slow, authoritative style is often more effective than passion in the long run.” (100)

Theatricality

Being larger than life, having extra presence.

Uninhabitedness

“Show that you are less inhibited than your audience – that you radiate a dangerous sexuality, have no fear of death, are delightfully spontaneous.”

“Fluidity of body and spirit…openness to experience.”

Fervency

“Become the rallying point for people’s discontent, and show them that you share none of the doubts that plague normal humans.” (101)

Vulnerability

A need for love and affection that your audience can satisfy (eg: Marilyn Monroe admitting that she “belonged” to her audience, made her audience feel like they had something to offer her as well).

Adventurousness

“An air of adventure and risk that attracts the bored.”

Magnetism

“The demeanor of Charismatics may be poised and calm, but their eyes are magnetic.” (102)

- – - – - * – - – - – – - – - – * – - – - – – - – - – * – - – - -

“People do not want to hear that your power comes from years of discipline. They prefer to think that it comes from your personality, your character, something you were born with.” (110)

“The less obvious you are (about your contentment), the better: let people conclude that you are happy, rather than hearing it from you.”

The Power of Eye Contact – Michael Ellsberg (Part 1)

February 18, 2012

Devon Sampson Human Psychology, Social Dynamics charisma, dating, eye contact, michael ellsberg, relationships Leave a comment

Eye contact can land you a job. It can get you a date. It can deepen your connections with the people you love. It can make or break business relationships. It can help win a fight. It can win over an audience.

Simply put, eye contact is one of the most powerful tools in human face-to-face interaction. The Power of Eye Contact is your concise guide to harnessing the potent force of eye contact.

-Amazon.com description

Chapter 1: What Bill Clinton Knows About Eye Contact

It would seem to be in our self interest not to have our emotions out on display as they are through our eye contact, but primatologist Frans de Wall explains that human beings are cooperative animals and our emotional transparency helps others trust us better.

The “Duchenne” smile: the true smile of enjoyment, involves, most importantly, a movement of a muscle around the eye, which causes the eye coverfold to move down slightly.

This muscle “does not obey the will” – every other aspect of a smile can be faked except for this phenomenon.

Charles Darwin’s description of the eyes during rage:

The eyes are always bright, or may, as Homer expressed it, glisten with rage. They are sometimes bloodshot, and are said to protrude from their sockets – the result, no doubt, of the head being gorged with blood, as shown by the veins being distended.

Charles Darwin’s explanation of “sparkling”, happy eyes:

A bright and sparkling eye is as characteristic of a pleased or amused state of mind, as is the retraction of the corners of the mouth and upper lip…Their brightness seems to be chiefly due to their tenseness, owing to the contraction of the orbicular muscles and to the pressure of the raised cheeks. But, according to Dr. Piderit…the tenseness may be largely attributed to the eyeballs becoming filled with blood and other fluids, from the acceleration of the circulation, consequent on the excitement of pleasure…Any cause which lowers the circulation deadens the eye. I remember seeing a man utterly prostrated by a prolonged and severe exertion during a very hot day, and a bystander compared his eyes to those of a boiled codfish.

Everyone has mirror neurons that allow us to experience the emotional states of others. One of the implications of this is that in large group settings such as concerts, it feels as if the audience morphs into a single entity that experiences and expresses emotions at an even higher level.

Imagine being gazed at by a sea of eyes – lustful eyes, hungry eyes, beckoning eyes – whenever you are in a public area like a bus or skytrain. This is reality for most women.

Chapter 2: How to Become a Master of Eye Contact in Two Weeks

A proven, well-documented way to overcome all sorts of anxiety is called systematic desensitization. You put gradually expose yourself to the object of your anxiety, first in your imagination, then, over time, in the real world. The main purpose of this is to give you concrete reference experiences that you won’t die by doing whatever it is that you fear. It gets you more comfortable with fear itself.

Exercise: walk down the sidewalk and look into the eyes of every person that walks towards you long enough to see their eye color, then look away.

Prolonged eye contact is often associated with aggression or seduction, but if you just want to practice confident behavior you can avoid being too intense by keeping a neutral facial expression and/or softening the intensity of your focus.

As a rule of thumb, don’t initiate eye contact from far away – that’s called staring.

When you break eye contact, break it laterally, not vertically. That is, if someone is on your right, break eye contact by looking ahead or to your left, not by looking down – that’s extremely low-status behavior.

(In response to the common question, “Should I look at one eye, or try to look at both”) “When talking with someone new, maintain a relatively soft, gentle, wide focus in general, taking in your entire conversation partner’s face, with the eyes in the center of your field of vision [not the bridge of the nose].” (49)

An intense gaze requires the muscles around the eyes to become tense; a soft gaze allows the facial muscles around the eyes to relax.

Ellsberg stresses, however, that it is natural and even necessary to look away at times during a conversation:

Taking in someone’s eyes is one of the most psychologically salient experiences we can have – there are so many shades of nuance and meaning to interpret…So it’s understandable that when we are using a lot of our “processing power” to remember something, come up with our next train of thought, or formulate our opinion on something, we have to tune out this rich additional source of input. (53-54)

“You’d come across as a complete freak if you made pure 100% eye contact in any conversation. What I’m talking about in this book is adding 20 to 30 percent more eye contact into your conversations.” (54)

Author Marie Forleo also sheds light on common misconceptions about eye contact:

Many people who get into eye contact start trying to “do” eye contact, like it’s this technique that’s sooo profound…You shouldn’t be trying to “do” eye contact all the time. It’s annoying to others. Let it happen naturally. Just look at the people around you as the human beings they are, and the eye contact will come naturally and perfectly.

Qualities of Charismatics

Chapter 1: What Bill Clinton Knows About Eye Contact

Chapter 2: How to Become a Master of Eye Contact in Two Weeks

Recent Posts

Tag Cloud

Categories

Archives

Meta