The 48 Laws of Power (Law #28: Enter Action with Boldness)

May 22, 2012

Devon Sampson Motivational Psychology, Social Dynamics , , , , , , Leave a comment

“If you are unsure of a course of action, do not attempt it. Your doubts and hesitations will infect your execution. Timidity is dangerous: Better to enter with boldness. Any mistakes you commit through audacity are easily corrected with more audacity. Everyone admires the bold; no one honors the timid.” (227, Judgment)

“In seduction, hesitation is fatal – it makes your victims conscious of your intentions. The bold move crowns seduction with triumph: It leaves no time for reflection.” (228)

“Although we may disguise our timidity as a concern for others, a desire not to hurt or offend them, in fact it is the opposite – we are really self-absorbed, worried about ourselves and how others will perceive us. Boldness, on the other hand, is outer-directed, and often makes people feel more at ease, since it is less self-conscious and less repressed.” (233)

“Boldness directs attention outward and keeps the illusion alive.”

“Audacity separates you from the herd. Boldness gives you presence and makes you seem larger than life. The timid fade into the wallpaper, the bold draw attention, and what draws attention draws power.” (228-229)
 

We cannot keep our eyes off the audacious – we cannot wait to see their next bold move.

 
“Understand: If boldness is not natural, neither is timidity. It is an acquired habit, picked up out of a desire to avoid conflict. If timidity has taken hold of you, then, root it out. Your fears of the consequences of a bold action are way out of proportion to reality, and in fact the consequences of timidity are worse. Your value is lowered and you create a self-fulfilling cycle of doubt and disaster. Remember: The problems created by an audacious move can be disguised, even remedied, by more and greater audacity.” (234)

“Boldness should never be the strategy behind all of your actions. It is a tactical instrument, to be used at the right moment. Plan and think ahead, and make the final element the bold move that will bring you success.” (235)

“Timidity has no place in the realm of power; you will often benefit, however, by being able to feign it. At that point, of course, it is no longer timidity but an offensive weapon: You are luring people in with your show of shyness, all the better to pounce on them boldly later.”

Nerve – Taylor Clark (2/2)

February 4, 2012

Devon Sampson Human Psychology , , , , , Leave a comment

“The more certainty and control we think we have about a potential threatening situation, the less stress we will feel.” (98, emphasis added)

In World War 2, despite having the highest mortality rate in the military, dogfighters were more happy with their jobs and felt less stress than almost every other division of troops. They believed that their piloting skill would determine their survival, not luck – they felt they were in complete control of their fate.

“In study after study, researchers have found that the most stressful occupations are those in which employees must deal not just with high demands, but with little control over their workdays.” (104)

Cultivating a strong internal locus of control is key to reducing stress in your life.

UC Irvine psychologist Salvatore Maddi claims to have found the three most important attitudes about stress, which he calls the “Three C’s”:

  • Commitment: as stress mounts, remaining involved in the world instead of evading reality
  • Control: realizing that you’re never helpless, even in the toughest circumstances
  • Challenge: perceiving a crisis not as a threat, but as an opportunity for growth

“Under stress, our natural tendency is to forget about our surrounding environment and focus instead on the immediate threat. The more people can resist this and pay attention to what’s really happening, the better they do under fire.” (120-1)

“(Psychologist Anders Ericsson’s) work adds an important caveat…Not all experience will help you improve decision-making under stress…Experience needs two characteristics to be effective: it has to be challenging, focusing on your weaknesses, and it has to include feedback that allows you to fine-tune your approach.” (121)

“[R]ecent research has shown that when we’re nervous or threatened, (short-term memory) is the kind of memory that is most prone to falling apart.” (147)

“Performance pressure harms individuals most qualified to succeed by consuming the working memory capacity that they rely on for their superior performance.” (Beilock and Carr, 2005) (150)

“(NYU psychology professor Joshua) Aranson’s research has revealed that kids who are cued to believe they can improve their test scores with practice tend to see exams as a challenge rather than a threat, performing better – and feeling less anxiety – than those who see their brainpower as set in stone.” (151)

“I don’t think I’m any smarter than anyone else who’s done well on Jeopardy! – I think I just handle the pressure better. There’s stuff I come up with when I’m actually playing Jeopardy! that I wouldn’t get if if I were just watching it on TV. The adrenaline focuses me.” -Brad Rutter, Jeopardy! Ultimate Tournament of Champions winner

A bias that is the root of many people’s performance anxiety is the “illusion of transparency” bias – we tend to believe that our internal emotional states are more obvious to others than they truly are.

“It’s not a case of getting rid of the butterflies. It’s a question of getting them to fly in formation.” -Jack Donohue, former Canadian Olympic basketball coach

“Fueled by what psychologists have deemed ‘normalcy bias,’ humans in crisis have a troubling tendency to deny that anything out of the ordinary is going on.” (242)
 

In combat, you do not rise to the occasion – you sink to the level of your training.

-Dave Grossman, psychology intructor, West Point military academy

Nerve – Taylor Clark (1/2)

January 11, 2012

Devon Sampson Human Psychology , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Nerves make us bomb job interviews, first dates, and SATs. With a presentation looming at work, fear robs us of sleep for days. It paralyzes seasoned concert musicians and freezes rookie cops in tight situations. And yet not everyone cracks. Soldiers keep their heads in combat; firemen rush into burning buildings; unflappable trauma doctors juggle patient after patient. It’s not that these people feel no fear; often, in fact, they’re riddled with it.

In Nerve, Taylor Clark draws upon cutting-edge science and painstaking reporting to explore the very heart of panic and poise. Using a wide range of case studies, Clark overturns the popular myths about anxiety and fear to explain why some people thrive under pressure, while others falter-and how we can go forward with steadier nerves and increased confidence.

-Amazon.com description

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“Our fears are faster than our thoughts.” (38)

“We might wish our higher cognitive machinery could keep up with the amygdala, but evolution, in its savage wisdom, knows that it’s better to go through a thousand false alarms than to risk failing to react to a real danger just once.”

The amygdala has a greater ability to supersede the conscious mind than vice versa – “our brains are actually designed to thwart our efforts to override the fear response.” (40)

“So in the same way that your computer’s antivirus program compares each file on your hard drive with its data bank of malicious software, your amygdala scans all incoming stimuli against a memory bank of threats. If it gets a close enough match (say, a scurrying. Lack critter), it fires up a fear reaction (‘Spider alert!’). Memory, then, is an essential ingredient in fear.” (43)

The process of learning to fear something is imprecise, but the neural connections and imprints it makes are strong and almost impossible to undo completely.

“Faced with a vague physical sensation, the hypochondriac dwells not in the probability that it’s benign, but in the possibility, however slim, that it heralds something catastrophic.” (54)

“An estimated 5 percent of all visits to primary care doctors in the United Stares stem from hypochondria, at an annual cost of $20 billion to the health care system.” (55)

“Fear is primarily physiological, yet anxiety is predominantly cognitive: fear supercharges the body to escape real danger right now, and anxiety motivates the brain to figure out how to avoid theoretical danger in the future.” (58)

“People who can’t stand uncertainty interpret ambiguous information not as vague or neutral, but as threatening.” (62)

“(A) lack of negative outcomes reinfoces the worry habit. Because feared events almost never follow worry, we start subconsciously believing that worry prevents such things from happening.” (64)

Our prefrontal cortex distinguishes us from other species; only we can plan ahead for potential threats in the future. But Joseph LeDoux explains the downside of this: “Bigger brains allow better plans, but for these you pay in the currency of anxiety.” (70)

“If fear is like a living organism in the mind, avoidance is its primary means of self-preservation. Without exposing ourselves to the things that trigger our fears, we never get a chance to learn that we can cope, or that our catastrophic worries are wrong, or that the things we fret really aren’t going to tear us limb from limb. Avoidance ensures that the fear lives on.” (71)

(Arguing against brute force struggles with fear) “Fear and anxiety are a great, rushing river upon which we float in our bobbing little kayaks. We can paddle furiously against the stream in a futile struggle to get upriver and avoid the rapids, or we can work with the current and use our energy to navigate the challenges ahead. The choice is always ours.” (72)

“To get over a fear, you have to expose yourself to it, and you have to feel afraid.” (75) -then it will naturally pass and you’ll learn that you can handle it

“More conventional therapies attempt to help patients relax, but (Boston University’s David Barlow) contends that focusing on becoming calm can send a false message that fear is dangerous. ‘There’s a place for relaxation,’ explained Craske, a Barlow collaborator, ‘but if the crux of the problem is that a person is afraid of feeling fear, then too much focus on relaxation simply feeds that fear.’” (76)

“(UCLA psychologist Matthew Lieberman) believes (that) mindful noting – the simple act of putting our feeling into words – helps the brain disambiguate our emotions and provide a level of detachment from them.” (82)

Once ironworkers tie off ther ropes and their harness is set, they like to lean back into the harness instead of clinging next to the column they’re suspended near. They understand that you have to trust the equipment. It reflects back to them that everything’s working.

(An ironworker’s description of this process) “You tie off. You lean back into it. You don’t fall. Okay.” (90)